always cancer, never aquarius 

i’m behind a guy at ralphs. he has a weird shovel-corkscrew as one of the things he’s buying and catches me staring at it

guy: “it’s a tomato planter”
me: “oh”
guy: “yeah, i have to replant mine cause i watered them with microwaved water and they all died”
me: “excuse me?”
guy: “microwaved water gives you cancer”
me: “i never knew that”
guy: “yeah, it’s from the radiation”

this frankly would be a better plot for “attack of the mutant killer tomatoes” than the original one