Posts Tagged ‘metal’

imitation crab core

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

dear internet,

i’m certain that you are just as big a fan of the new bands in the metalcore genre of music as i am, drawn in by many of its appealing factors, including:

  • heavy use of autotune and vocoders
  • whiny lyrics
  • sissy-looking tight pants
  • idiotic techno break downs
  • tame as hell guitar

and many many others. bands like this one, brought to my attention by steve k:

thank you steve.

as so, internet, you might be surprised to learn that some older metalheads have a hard time taking this genre seriously and refer to it as Crab Core. i have made these original content gifs using the above video in order to help explain it. please use them wisely.

(mac users: my safari renders gifs too slowly. if the bouncy bouncy isn’t bouncy-ing as well as it should, use firefox)

all gothenburg metal must have crap lyrics

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

an attempt to make sense from the song “only for the weak”, by In Flames

lyrics:

I can’t tolerate your sadness

Cause it’s me you are drowning (You’re drowning me)
I won’t allow (allow) any happiness
Cause everytime you laugh, I feel so (so weak)… guilty (guilty)
I feel so guilty

Am I forced to have any regret
I’ve become the lie, beautiful and free
In my righteous own mind
I adore and preach the insanity you gave to me

Oh, sell me the infection, it is only for the weak
No need for a sympathy, the misery that is me

I’ve lost the ability to paint the clouds
Cause it’s me you’re draining (You’re draining me)
I’m stuck in this slow-motion dark tale
Cause everytime you run, I fall (fall).. behind (behind)
I fall behind

And so I hear my voice again
The tale of the bitter man there I am
Shake the silence and hear what it says
The tranquil pride that become the lie

Oh, sell me the infection, it is only for the weak
No need for a sympathy, the misery that is me

ok, here we go:

  • you are drowning me, which is why i can’t tolerate your sadness (lines 1-2). you are probably drowning me in your sadness. fair enough.
  • i won’t allow happiness because when you’re happy it makes me weak and guilty (lines 3-5)
  • since i tolerate neither happiness or sadness, i expect you to have no strong emotions either way since they make me feel guilty and overpower me
  • i am apparently profoundly emotionally unstable and have no emotional borders to call my own
  • i might be forced to have regrets, but i’m not sure. i apparently would rather not have to have a conscience unless i really have to, implying my higher emotional functions are tied to societies expectations of me, as if society could really check if i feel regretful for some of my actions.(line 6)
  • i am a also now a lie and have been driven insane by you. most probably by your happiness and sadness, those “mood” things. (lines 7-9)
  • i am however righteous in my own head where i totally believe the various ‘insane’ world views you gave me. these i’m ok with, but not with the emotions from line 1-4. (line 8 )
  • sell me your infection, that you already have, which is only for weak people. i will now remind you that i am weak because you’re happy, which i don’t want you to be, meaning i don’t want to be weak, but i still want the infection that is for weak people. i am very confused as to that i want. (line 10)
  • no need for sympathy for the misery that is me. really. i am miserable, and i’m telling you that i’m miserable, but please, i insist don’t feel sympathy for poor old miserable me. really. also, don’t be happy or sad, back from verse 1. (line 11)
  • i’ve lost the ability to paint clouds because you’re draining me. apparently i used to be an artist, back before you insisted on being happy and sad, or maybe before i started adoring your insanity, or maybe before i decided i wanted to be infected as a weak person (lines 12-13)
  • i am now trapped in a ‘slow-motion dark tale’, which implies i’m in a bad place, however i adore being insane in my righteous mind, so i’m both trapped in a bad place and happy to be in a good place (lines 14-16  + 8-9)
  • at this point i hear myself again and i am a bitter man recounting my tale. so i’m only sort of in a good place, and i’m mostly in a bad place like in lines 14-16. (lines 17-18)
  • tranquil pride has become a lie (line 20). we’re not positive whose pride this is, but before it said that i became a lie (line 7), so it’s probably my tranquil pride.
  • i here point out that i want more infection for my weakness, but please don’t feel sad for horribly mistreated me (lines 21-22)CONCLUSIONS:
  • your emotions have made me into a nervous wreck
  • i went totally insane and am very happy now
  • i am very unhappy now, but please infect me to keep it that way
  • i’m drained of my art abilities
  • i am unhappy

you know guys… you, children of bodom, and everyone else in the scene: it’s perfectly ok to sing in a language where you’re not just stringing random strings emotionally charged phrases culled from a 14-year-old’s diary

CoB almost got their own analysis post, but what can you really add to:

You can alter your look
And diversify your image
But the truth seems like
A bitch slap in your face

don’t diversify your image, bitches.